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Henry Youngman Quotes

Type: Athlete | Date of Birth: 0000-00-00 | Year of Death: | Nationality:

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Henry Youngman

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henry Youngman

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by four o'clock this afternoon.
Henry Youngman

If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving.
Henry Youngman

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
Henry Youngman

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
Henry Youngman

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henry Youngman

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henry Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henry Youngman

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henry Youngman

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henry Youngman

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